Monday, March 14, 2005 Human Programs v1.0

There was a radio contest recently. The basic premise was that you tune in to the station to receive clues. The clues were for the location and description of "The fugitive". The concept is that you ask everyone you suspect of being the fugitive and if you find him/her, you win $50 000 cash. In a mid sized city of 1 million people, working in the downtown area is hell when this radio gimmick is on. The idea is to spread word of mouth advertisement. And Holy Fuck does it work. A radio station can spend millions on advertisement campaigns in an attempt to get listeners to tune in. This little scheme couldn't have cost more than a hundred thousand dollars. Counter-Culture has its Guerilla marketing, and so does society. The difference ofcourse is that the tools society uses work.

Every day while listening to music someone would approach me. This means that I have to take off my headphones to hear what it is they are saying. Without fail the goon asking the question with dead eyes and a smile of hope vomits out the radio question. The key to their chance at marginal temporary happiness. I listen to music to block out the ad-vironment that we live in. But the zombies are more clever than your average run of the mill Dawn of the dead cast extra. Free word of mouth advertising is the most effective and most desired effect that a company can hope for when marketing a product. But this, this is more than a mere ad campaign. This can only be described as a human email worm, and I am positive that someone could write this scheme in code.

I suppose I have to be glad in the fact that we came up with this instead of some ideological outside force. Imagine how the effect would be different if the question were: "Are you the Socialist Orthodox archetype of good Maoist virtue? or "Are you the Good Samaritan ready to accept Jesus as Your Savior?" I shouldn't give the zombies ideas... Before I know it, anyone with a message will be setting up their own 50 000$ contest to promote their ideas.... Hmmm On that note maybe I can capitalize on this...

Here's the idea:

You ask as many people as you know the following question: "Do You read Survive The Zombie apocalypse at Blogspot.com?" and if you find the Zombie Apocalypse fugitive, I'll write a form letter post that includes your name and a story about you that may or may not have happened.

I give it 2 years before some major US network television group discovers this devious bit of human code and capitalizes on it. From there, the virus will spread exponentially until all of Western Civilization is reduced to a mass population of people going about their daily lives and communicating only through the use of verbal advertisements. Instead of asking your boss for a raise, you'll say "Can I super-size my career to the luxury of Mercedes-Benz?" To which you're boss will reply "Can you afford not to with 0% financing on all current models?" (unfortunately in the future, that will still mean "no, now get out of my office")

When that day comes, I am going to market a great thing I'll call "Zombie Remover". Its basically a chainsaw painted in a really cool colour scheme with an MP3 feature.

Here's my last prediction for the post.

IPod, or its successor will begin allowing free music files, but ads will be tacked on to the beginning and end of each file so that you will have to listen to them before you hear the song. I give that 3 years as well.

If the second coming does happen, Someone better get him a good public relations rep otherwise he'll just be another crazy savoir impersonator ranting in the park.

Fun Facts:

- The spell check on this site has a correction for Mercedes and Samaritan, but does not have a correction for the word "Fuck"
- Go to chapters.ca and in the search field type "Books" and see what you get.
- The environmental lobby in Spain is being protested against because they want to put massive windmills off the coast of Gibraltar that will destroy the spawning routes of sea fish.
- Both the Soviet National Anthem and the American National Anthem contain the phrase "Land of The Free"